


Love Notes

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:58:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3753625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While looking for a certain book, Cullen finds some notes from Dorian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“To say he’s probably the calmest and probably the most collected one of us, this man seriously does not know how to organise a library. No wonder he can ever find what he needs.” Cullen scowled as he flicked through the books of Dorian’s, no, the Inquisitions library. It’s just that from the moment he laid eyes on it, Dorian had placed his mark of empty bottles of various spirits and alcohols and that smell that was both profoundly fancy and similar to an alcoholic stink. It was a smell Cullen loathed and loved.  
He flicked through the books on the top shelf first, he was looking for one by a C. R. Rose, and it entailed the history of Tevinter’s militia, magisterium, and Chantry, well what they had of one. It was the key to helping the Inquisitor complete a task in which the Tevinter Imperium had to have been contacted, unfortunately. Something about a group of mages that might be causing trouble, the Venatori, if Cullen remembered properly.

“Why do I have to do this god damn book hunt, why couldn’t Josephine do it herself?” Cullen said through gritted teeth, he was getting increasingly frustrated, especially when he flicked over the ‘R’ section of the extremely large bookcase that was scarily empty, as with all of the books scattered over the floor.  
To Cullen’s anger, no ‘Rose’ showed up in the bookcase. Not a single trace. He knew it must be around her somewhere, Josephine swore on her heart that they owned a book with that entailed such information, and in the brief second Cullen had seen Dorian before he had ventured out to the Hinterlands to start picking off these ‘Venatori’ with the Inquisitor, Varric, and Cassandra, he had said barely anything of use.

“Oh it’s around my library somewhere!” Cullen said, mocking Dorian’s accent. He couldn’t really be angry, if Dorian had come running to him before he lead a mission out in the Hinterlands, Cullen himself would have been quick with getting rid of Dorian and said probably way too little about whatever Dorian wanted to know this time.  
Cullen stopped craning his neck at the abnormally large bookcase and looked at the piles of books that scattered the floor, picking up the many bottles that were littered around as well. Opening the window, Cullen contemplated throwing them out as far as he could, which he would gladly do with all his pent up rage at this point, but one wrong move and it was broken glass that a recruit would have to waste time cleaning up. He instead dumped them onto Dorian’s fancy chair that he ‘sat in all day reading uselessly until his precious Inquisitor came to fetch him like a child.’ Cullen thought.

He crouched down, and rummaged around the books on the floor. To no avail, he couldn’t find anything. This was Tevinter’s legacy in this book! Cullen was surprised that he didn’t have it on hand at all times, and Cullen also began to fear that he did. Falling to desperate measures, Cullen wandered over to the balcony looking down upon Solas’ study. 

“Excuse me? Solas?” Cullen yelled down. 

“What is it commander, and there’s no need to yell.” Solas replied, his voice only slightly higher that what it would have been usually. 

“Of course, sorry, it’s just I’m looking for a book that Dorian has but I can’t find it for the life of me.”

“Which one?” Solas asked, “ Dorian owns many books if you haven’t seen already.” Cullen was prepared to make a comment about how Dorian doesn’t own any books, the Inquisition does, but he felt like Solas would simply ignore him after that.

“It’s one that entails Tevinter’s history, their militia and magisterium. Seen it around by any chance?”

“I’m sorry but I haven’t I’m afraid. The only books I’ve seen come flying from Dorian’s library are ones that entail the Chantry. Usually has something that badmouths Tevinter in it.”

“Typical.” Cullen sighed; he retreated back to the piles of books, shifting them around until he saw the word Tevinter, and then getting disappointed when it didn’t involve anything he was searching for. He moved the bottles he had previously placed on the chair so he could collapse down into it. He was tired and angry and frustrated and this chair felt like it was made from solid wood and not from plush cushions and fancy silks. “What in the hell?” Cullen whispered as he flipped up the cushions of the chair, and he found two more books. One was ‘Swords and Shields’ by Varric Tethras, and the other was A History of the Imperium, by C. R. Rose. He tossed them aside before his eyes opened wide again. That was it! Finally, he had found the book that had been taking him about half-an-hour at this moment. He picked up the jet black book that had the Imperium’s insignia embellished on the back, it was lined with silver thread and dark leather. He flipped the hardback cover open, and he immediately found why Dorian kept it a secret from everyone else. 

About eight or nine small pieces of paper fell out of the book the instant he opened the book. They were very obviously Dorian’s messy but swooping handwriting. Dorian had kept the book from Cullen finding it easily, so a little revenge by a look or two at the letters. Cullen thought, ‘What am I? A child? I can’t go around looking at his personal letters. It might discuss very personal topics regarding his home life’ he said as he flicked his eyes through the first note, getting encompassed in the cursive writing. He kept them neatly tucked inside the book, just in case Varric wants to come swaying in and reading whatever Cullen had found.

The first two notes were just about complaining about how cold Haven was, and the second told of how cold Skyhold is. That’s when Cullen realised, these were diary entries, not personal letters from him to his father, nor were they to a secret lover, and Cullen just kept reading on. The third, fourth, and fifth told of how Dorian was finally able to fight and use his magic in proper battles, the Inquisitor was using his necromancy skills to full effect, even to the point of getting him to practice necromancy more so he could develop his skills outside what his mentor, Alexius had taught him. The sixth however, was getting personal, it was about Sera and Blackwall, and how he didn’t like how often the Inquisitor brought them along. He hated that ‘oaf’ and that ‘savage’, respectively. However the seventh he began reading started quite, personally. 

‘It’s been three weeks, and I’ve barely seen anything of that commander, with his flashy mane he adorns. It’s genuinely infuriating to see him walk around Skyhold. Swaying around like he owns the place and he’s untouchable.’ 

Cullen couldn’t help but chuckle, Dorian was jealous. It was right there in print that Dorian of House Pavus, probably the most arrogant man Cullen had come across, was jealous of him. Either that or he found him deeply annoying, either was fine to Cullen. 

‘He just infuriates me, just him wandering around looking so perfect. His hair seemingly tidy and neat despite the fact he’s just come back from a mission in which he nearly had his limbs smashed to bits by brutes, and how he smiles when the Inquisitor feeds him attention.’

“I do not!” Cullen whispered under his breath defensively.

‘Back in Tevinter, practically no one looked as both infuriatingly annoying and beautiful as he does. It’s starting to make me feel like I’m not the only dashing man within the Inquisition. The only other men I know in the Inquisition are Iron Bull, Blackwall, Solas, Cole, Varric, and while the Inquisitor is so very charming, he just doesn’t really look good enough for him to take my fancy.’

“Oh, if I could see you say those words to my face.” Cullen smirked. He didn’t even realise how violently blushing he was. 

‘Hopefully one day, that commander will cross my path and I can tell him how utterly charming he is over a game of chess, or several glasses of wine. ’

“You’ll get your chance, I promise.” Cullen muttered, still with a smug grin on his face. 

‘Maker knows what I would do for my lips to brush against his neck’ Cullen felt blood rush to his cheeks.

“A chance for what exactly, Commander?” 

Shit.

It was that voice, that charming but over the top accent. Cullen smacked the book closed, and looked up with his eyes wider than humanly possible. He saw Dorian glaring at him, looking genuinely angered that Cullen had sat in his chair. Cullen stammered and tried to get words out but none did, eventually he made a messy lie leave his suddenly very dry mouth.

“Oh, um, a chance for Josephine to read this, she’s ordered me to retrieve it while she and Leliana discuss, uh, the, the Venatori.” 

“Fantastic, Iron Bull has so kindly been smashing their skulls open all morning. I hope your research proves useful.” 

“Thank you Dorian.”

“Might I add, what were you doing reading those notes I left in there, didn’t your mother ever tell you not to invade others privacy?”

“What notes?” Cullen lied. He was really trying to pull that card.

“You really think I’ll fall for that one?” Dorian said, giving Cullen a glare that could pierce through his iron armor. He really wished Dorian would fall for it. “What did you read then Cullen?”

“Only the first few, I’m happy you’re settling well into Skyhold, and I hope it isn’t too cold for you.”

“And?” Dorian asked. Cullen sighed, and he finally stood up, being nearly eye level with Dorian, spare an inch or two in Cullen’s favour. 

“Lips brush against my neck?” 

“That’s what I thought Cullen. Oh yes, you’ve ratted me out, I’m sorry that my love-starved attitude upsets you commander. Can’t blame me though, it’s not like I’m winking at you every time we pass in the corridors and halls and giving your arse a pinch.”

“Thank the Maker for that.”

“I do hope you can forgive me for what you read, despite it being viciously tame compared to what goes through my mind every time I see you.” Dorian smiled. “Oh did that just come out, sorry, slip of the tongue.” Cullen just blushed hard, and remained silent. “Also is it OK if we finish this later rather than now? Killing Venatori left and right always ends up with me getting blood in my hair and on my clothes. I would kill for a bath to relax and calm down right now.”  
Cullen whispered something under his breath that evaded Dorian’s ears.  
“What was that commander?” Dorian asked, his smile still remaining. Cullen simply decided to not care anymore. He wasn't getting anywhere was he, and Dorian was obviously not going to give two shits about it. “Cat got your tongue?”

“I don’t know if I can wait until later, Dorian.”

“Is that so?” Dorian whispered, walking directly up to Cullen, and putting his hands around his waist. He leant his head forwards, to which Cullen responded by putting his arms over Dorians shoulders and pulling his head into a tight kiss. It was messy and disgusting, Dorian thought, but it was so golden he wished that he never had to resurface for air. After what seemed like the most blissful moment Cullen had experienced for the entire time being at Skyhold, they broke apart, Cullen glaring into Dorian’s eyes, and noticing the fine specs of blood that were showering his skin.

“I do see what you mean with needing a bath.”

“Care to join me commander?”

“I would, but Josephine must be getting worried by now.” He let go of Dorian, and Dorian did similar. Nodding, Cullen then went on his way, his heart feeling positively lighter. Dorian collapsed into his chair, catching a strong whiff of who had been sat in it just minutes earlier. It smelt of the homely smell that Cullen reeked of. He both loved and loathed it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen accepts Dorian's offer of joining him in the bath.

Cullen was still feeling like a balloon was in his chest, and he was never like this with the whole ‘war’ business going off. It was a lovely break. He had taken a long thing, and decided he would take up Dorian’s request of joining the latter in a bath. Josephine had dismissed him after a long talk about how the Venatori are ‘a bigger problem than they thought’, Cullen forgot all about Dorian, and only when he found the note tucked away under his belt and re-read it he remembered Dorian’s offer. He had stripped down to just a simple tunic, if it could be called that, it was as flashy as wearing a potato sack, and his trousers. Leaving a near-full suit of armour and robes wasn’t something Cullen wanted to leave on the floor of the baths used by nearly everyone in the Inquisition, at least the baths had locks, something he was very relieved about.

“Hey Cullen, what’s with the loss of your usual mane?” He heard Varric call to him as he passed through the main hall.

“Just going to have a bath Varric.”

“Beware; I saw Dorian head down to the baths earlier. “ He looked smugger than I’ve ever seen him before.”

“I wonder why?” Cullen lied through his teeth.

“Beats me, now go take a shower, I can smell you from here.”

Cullen decided not to respond to that, he was too light hearted right now. He was slightly nervous, but then he remembered how this was Dorian’s wish in the first place, he looked down at the note again, reading that line that had caused him to make it so obvious to Dorian. He smiled, but felt embarrassed if anything, he was the commander of possibly the most important army in Thedas as of right now. He couldn’t let some Tevinter mage make him feel weak like this, but he did, and he was most likely going to melt into Dorians arms soon enough. The worst thing was, a Templar, falling for a mage, and not only that, a Tevinter mage, if his friends from the Templar order could see him now, they would slice his head off. ‘Well you’re not in the Templar order now, you’re in the Inquisition.’ He thought to himself. He tucked the note behind his belt, and took the left down the corridor to the baths.

On the other hand, Dorian was blissfully laying back in the bath relaxing without a care in the world. His muscles were aching from the mission, but all was well. Cullen rejected his idea of a shared bath, but who cares? He didn’t want anyone interrupting him right now.

Cullen then knocked on the bathroom door. Dorian opened his eyes and his face went from utter bliss to slightly pissed off in the blink of an eye.

“Who is it?” Dorian asked, probably too aggressive for what he was aiming for, and Cullen just took it on the chin as normal Dorian.

“I decided to take up your offer!” Cullen said, hoping Dorian would let him in. He heard silence, and then a splash, wet feet on stone, Dorian cursing due to how cold it suddenly was, and finally a towel being wrapped around his waist. The door promptly opened, and Dorian was there, looking pleased over Cullen’s offer. Cullen looked at Dorian and the rest of his body, he really did expect this hairless and chiselled abs kind of man, yet what he got was a relatively hairy and slightly pudgy man in a towel, it was a nice surprise, and was cute to know that under all that tough, cocky exterior was a soft man.

“It’s nice of you to finally turn up, now get in the bath. It took me ages to get the water to a good enough temperature, fire magic is not as predictable as one would think you know.” Dorian said, dropping the towel and slipping into the bath again, sighing as the warm water comforted him.

“Most magic isn’t all too predictable” Cullen said, taking off the brown tunic, and Dorian was too focused on his back muscles to make an argument, and that concentration only escalated when Cullen dropped his trousers. Cullen wanted to make himself out to be confident. It didn’t work.

“So, um, you like what you, uh, see?” Cullen stammered.

“I absolutely adore it, now don’t just stand there, come on in.” Dorian said, blushing furiously. Cullen then turned around, and Dorian’s eyes widened almost comically.

“Thanks.” Cullen said happily.

“My pleasure Ser Rutherford.”

The baths were large, but not large enough to properly accommodate two people. Dorian shifted to properly sitting, while Cullen dipped his foot in, it was the perfect temperature. He shifted down to his waist, and then he was in.

“This is strange.” The mage muttered after a couple seconds of awkwardness between the two.

“How so?” Cullen asked, his voice still wavering.

“I only kissed you about an hour ago. Now you’ve already seen me naked. "That has to be a record."

“Well, the situation was perfect.” Cullen said, smiling. He looked up and down Dorian, his jet black body hair looking wavy in the water.

“You have a good, point” Dorian was looking up and down Cullen as well, keeping his eyes the prize. “I have to say Cullen you were a fantastic kisser, care to-“Cullen rushed at the opportunity.

“Finally, I thought you’d never ask.” Cullen went forward, laying against Dorian, and placing his arms on his chest, kissing vigorously against Dorians neck, despite the opposite being requested in Dorian’s note to Cullen. The commander then moved his hands from Dorian’s chest to his stomach area, rubbing circles into the chubby flesh, not breaking contact with his neck.

“What are you trying to do? Suck my blood?” Cullen then broke contact, laughing.

“I would expect that from you.” The commander said, holding Dorian’s face in his hands. They both went silence, and began kissing intently. Dorian was blissful, Cullen was embarrassed and upset. He was new to this, he was never on the receiving end of another man’s compassion, only the giver. Dorian changed that, and the mage was used to it. He broke off again looking into Dorian's eyes, then his face fell, and his mouth opened slightly. Cullen had suddenly realised what he was doing.

He was a Templar. He was leading an army in the most important army of all of Thedas. Dorian was a Tevinter mage. After adding everything up properly, Cullen’s face suddenly dropped, and he looked both angry and confused.

"Is everything OK Cullen?"

“What am I doing?” Cullen asked.

“You’re not kissing me, that’s what.”

“No I mean,” Cullen stood up, cupping his hands over his privates. “What am I doing with you?” He got out of the bath and reached for a towel, drying himself off as quickly as possible.

“Cullen, please!” Dorian said, sitting forward. “Don’t leave, we were only getting to the good part.” But Cullen was already hoisting his trousers around his waist. “Please Cullen.”  
“No!” The commander said sternly. “I’m sorry Dorian, you’re a charming man, but I can’t do this. Not now.”

“Of course it can’t happen now!” Dorian snapped. “Nothing can ever happen now. It has to be later, when no one will die all of a sudden. A little bit of happiness could save you from going mad commander.”

Cullen slammed the bathroom door. An hour, that had to be Dorian’s record of quickest time to deter a potential boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i probably wont leave it here 'O' i love these two i dont want them to be left on a bad note, also sorry that it's so short :( im not that good with smut and didn't want them to spend enough time for it to develop into that


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian drinks.

Over the next few weeks, everyone was concerned over Dorian.  Vivienne was asking why he had become so recluse in his books, Iron Bull asking why he barely came down to the tavern any more, Sera asking why he had become a lot more aggressive in battle now. He had lost his charm, but he still had is wit. With a snarky comment, they left him alone.

Thank the Maker, he didn’t know how much longer he could take this flood of questions before he drowned right then and there. It even got to the point to where the Inquisitor asked him in his library, no luring him out to the tavern like Bull had tried to. The Inquisitor asked in a humble voice, “There’s a problem. Isn’t there?”

Dorian subtly changed the subject, “Oh don’t we all.” Careful tiptoeing around the fact that a Templar had obliterated his ego in a matter of an hour; he felt the shame welling up inside of him. All he wanted was for that blonde prick to just come and discuss things with him, but alas, he was too focused on other things, such as the Inquisitor, and leading an army.

“No fun.” Dorian mumbled to the Inquisitor, to which she said a simple,

“Excuse me?”

“Nobody seems to know that despite the war against Corypheus, we can’t have just a little bit of fun.”

“Well we’re having a game of Wicked Grace later, I’m sure that’ll be fun.”

 Dorian rested a book back unto the shelf.  “That’s not what I meant.” He said, his charm fully lost from his voice. With the Inquisitor now thinking there was something deeply wrong, she left him to his own devices. She would come back to him later, see if had dwelled upon her advice.

He didn’t, he stilled wallowed in his sorrows like a depressed pig in the rain. He then drowned said sorrows while reading some crappy book about a Knight-Captain. The bottles stacked up, one after another, to the point where even Solas suddenly cared about the health of Dorian’s liver.

“Dorian, I hear bottles bashing together nearly every minute from you. How much are you drinking?”

“Why would you like know?” Dorian spat. His anger was welling up.

“You can’t fight in the Inquisition with liver failure.”

“Get fucked Solas.” Dorian said drunkenly. He was very tempted to take one of the empty bottles that had been filled with cider just an hour ago, and throw it into Solas’ study. He decided against it, at the end of this he did want to still remain in the Inquisition. He couldn’t let that blonde prick make him lose his chance of proving his homeland wrong, and being a Tevinter to stand against Corypheus. He looked outside, the moon was vigorously shining, he could see the dancing lights below his window, and listened very, very carefully. He heard faint voices of Blackwall and Varric, and everyone else leaving to go play Wicked Grace.

“Not going to try your hand at Wicked Grace Solas?”

“I have a lot more important things to attend to really, anything could be more important than wasting time drinking your life away while getting naked during a card game.”

“Sounds like fun,” Dorian mumbled. Solas didn’t hear a thing, and was happy too, Dorian’s drunk yapping was like needles through his ears. He looked out the window at the others, but they had gone, most likely discussing their personal lives. He prayed that Cullen wouldn’t dare speak a word of their experience together, he wouldn’t. Everyone thought that Cullen was this ladies’ man, he wouldn’t go flaunting around that he had nearly had something with Dorian. Dorian yawned, it had been a long day of doing random errands for the people of the Hinterlands alongside his usual team of the Inquisitor, Iron Bull, and Varric. Eyes closed, uncomfortable position, drunker than who knows what, it was a recipe for the most horrible sleep he would have in ages.

In his dreams things were happening quickly, everyone was ignoring him, he was like a sheet of glass, and a sea of troubles washing over him, covering him in the taint of his mistakes, the people he has done wrong, the kills he has to his name. He wanted to stop. It didn’t. Voices crept out of the waves, like chains they bound him to the wall, how long had that been there? He was cornered, by the confrontation of his father, the deeply personal questions of the Inquisitor, and Cullen was saying his name. The earth crumbled, falling deeply into the abyss of pitch black darkness, as a hand was held out for him, he tried to grab it, but he could never grasp the wrist of his savior. The arm seemed to extend as far as Dorian fell, the voices were back, by golden chains he was bound by the legs, swinging like a rag doll in the abyss with mountains of red eyes staring right into him. Then a sudden jolt to his left arm broke the chains, they shattered into millions of tiny pieces, another shake of his arm and his eyes widened.

His eyes opened to the face that face. The one face he didn’t want to see while he was slightly intoxicated.

“I made a mistake.”

“Huh?” Dorian mumbled, the world still cloudy around him.

“Dorian I made a mistake.”

The mage caught that loud and clear.

“No! You said it yourself! You can’t do this can you?” Dorian stood up quickly, swaying slightly and feeling lightheaded, but still keeping his ground.

“Come back to my room, please Dorian, I’ll discuss things with you there.”

“Why should I do what you want, just for you to go back on your word within the hour?” Dorian said through gritted teeth.

“I wasn’t ready, I’m still not.”

“For what?”

“I’m not ready for sex, with men that is.” Cullen whispered, he really wasn’t, he had hidden this away for his lifetime, he didn’t realise what pansexuality truly meant up until a few months ago when strolling through a few of Dorian’s books to get that smell into his nose. Dorian sighed, placing his hands over his face and rubbing circles into his eyes.

“I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

“What?”

“I pressured you didn’t I. “

“No Dorian it isn’t like that!”

“I should never have deterred you like that. Commander, I can’t stop thinking about you, if I had taken things a little slower, then maybe it could have gone,” Dorian finally looked up at the man who couldn’t take his eyes off him. He looked abandoned in his eyes. “I was acting too forward, and it overwhelmed you.”

“You can read me like a book Dorian.”

“Well I do read a lot of them, don’t I.”

“I need to ask something of you Dorian, could you join me, later, in my, um-“Cullen stammered. This was the Cullen that Dorian knew fully, stammering and nervous when it came to romance. The Inquisitor had filled Dorian in over a drink, the first month or two, Cullen had taken quite a liking to the Inquisitor, and she reciprocated those feelings. Things took their course, but the Inquisitor eventually decided against it. Sera didn’t deserve her.

“Join me in my quarters; I let you clear up first.” Cullen said happily, leaving Dorian to himself. Dorian was confused if anything, he sat back down and sighed. Now he didn't know what to think, Cullen still had feelings for him, but it went against everything he knew about a man and a man being together back in Tevinter. He would need time for him to get used to the mannerism of the south.

It had been hours now, it was the very dead of night, and Cullen and Dorian were still speaking, conversing about past experiences. There had been tears, laughter, anger, but most of all, they were learning about each other.

“You see, he was a lovely man, Octania, but he was too forward with me. I was still a virgin at that point! I was also still figuring out everything with my family, it wasn't too long after the incident.”

“With your father?”

“Yes with my father, so I was treading carefully. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers me.”

“Dorian, I'm not going to lie, you’re very memorable. For _certain_ reasons.”

“You flatter me too much commander.”

They had both decided to just sit down on Cullen’s floor, and glare at the stars together, through the huge hole in Cullen’s roof that made some nights deathly cold. They had a candle for warmth.

“And it just, I miss him sometimes you know, despite it only being for a few weeks.” Dorian’s voice waivered like he was about to start sniffling, and Cullens hand naturally did what it was meant to do, his little finger tapped at Dorians hand while he talked, and eventually wormed its way around it until they were holding hands. Dorian was left speechless, mouth open, just staring at their hands, until he giggled, blushing mainly. He couldn't look Cullen in the eyes, but he still knew that he was grinning smugly.

“Thank you Cullen."

**Author's Note:**

> i adore this pairing, i dont know whether to add a scene where cullen joins dorian in the bath or to add more awkward tiny lovebugs being adorable


End file.
